A Journal of a GameMaster (GM), an IMMortal (IMM), and a DungeonMaster (DM).
I'm relieved finally. The heavy load that I'm carrying is now gone. After a year of carrying the secrecy which I myself suggested, it's now gone. Well as I've explained to the ragnaboarders which I will quote here:
(A GM Unmasked!!)
you know what I'm feeling right now? I feel so good that I have nothing to hide anymore.
I feel so good, so very good. like I released a burden or something, grabe. naiiyak na ko sa saya hehe, it's hard to be a GM of an MMOG, but it's easy to be an IMM of a MUD.
I'm a guy, straight
Here are the other reasons why I chose Yukino:
Yukino - of the Snow in Japanese.
Snow = White. (not snowhite )
Snow = cold/ice = eternity
white = pure; serene; peaceful; good; holy; the ultimate light where all other colors came.
In Russia Yukino is a male, like Yuri's Revenge, in Japan Yuri is a girl (or girl2girl) .. [ok it's a joke , but who knows baka tama logic ko ]
well, HOUJO Yukino herself, being a Gate Keeper and poetic. check me at fanfiction.net and fictionpress.com under this name "JC John Sese Cuneta". also poetry.com na rin if u want
An answer to the question "Why did you decided to reveal yourself?"
personal opinion, research, and inspired.
GM na ko before, sa Ansalonmud.org as Branchala (DragonLance "musical" god). Sa MUDs or MOGs, you are not allowed to tell anyone your identity. I said, fine with me.
Then 5 years later eto nasa pRO na ko, I've been waiting for RO since launch sa Korea and finally pRO! And the 1st MMOG pa sa pinas! I said to myself, I like to help boost the MMOG scene here in the Philippines. Why? I've played UO before and saw EQ so I know how good MMOGs are, besides MMOGs was inspired by MUDs, as I mentioned MUDs are text-base, so why not create a similar thing with graphics? That's an MMOG.
Anyway, I also thought that I want to help Level-Up, Inc. Pioneering sila. I applied with one thing in mind - MMOG Scene and LUG. I don't care sa pay, like so what, I know it's fun to be a GM.
And so it was. I now have to name a GM character, I can't use Branchala in RO, that wouldn't fit well. I don't want to use a Norse god or goddess either, masyadong generic and may "identities" na sila.
I want to hide my identity (as I came from MUDs), one way of hiding is to have an opposite gender-name and don't tell your sex to players. I did that, for a year I remain hidden. But other people know, only that, they don't know I'm GM-Yukino, one thing is alot of players really think Yukino is a girl.
Yah the name is a girl, good point, but they really pointed a lot of stuffs like I talk to players like a girl, mahinahon, nakikinig, pacifier, u know, "the way girls talk". They even said I speak in English and really good, they said only girls are that good in English (am I good? sa ShadowMaidens board nga tinira ako dun di daw ako marunong mag-english).
And so on... I sat one time, nagisip ng malalim (seryoso), napag-isip-isip ko, there's a big difference between a MUD/MOG and an MMOG. First there's an extra M. That extra M means "Massively", meaning marami, malaki. Simply speaking malaki at maraming pinagkaiba ang MUD/MOG at MMOG. (seryosa tama naman di ba?)
One difference is MUD/MOG don't get what atleast 10,000 simultaneous users at a given time. The MUD I saw that has the most players is DSL (Dark & Shatterred Lands) and last time I checked they're reaching 4-5k already, and MUDs like that are rare, super rare.
I began to understand why I have to keep my identity secret in MUDs, the community is small. If they know who you are, they'll easily figure out your character. Then there's the reality of being "bugged" by your fellow players when you are playing your personal character. That's something I'm not willing to risk.
In an MMOG (and I was inspired), I saw that there are GMs in other MMOGs (like UO and EQ) whose GMs personal profile (except ofcourse for phone numbers and home address) are even posted in the official website!! In a MUD-GM point-of-view that's crazy!
But it is not. The MMOG community is bigger (if not huge) compared to MUDs. Even if the players know, they won't give a damn about you. They won't even bother your personal character (maybe one, two, three, or ten, depends) but these players are "human beings", they have "brains" they know how to respect other people.
Sabi nga natin "Trabaho lang walang personalan". That's the major reason. There's no risk of revealing yourself as an MMOG-GM. It's not MUD where everybody can know you.
Dito na lang, we have thousands upon thousands of players, only a fraction of that reads ragnaboards and of the RB readers only a fraction visited my GM blog. See the point? Maybe there are those who wants to kill me, I can only say "it's your call". I don't know what I did to you but I want to let you know that I'm sorry in a very deep-personal level. Besides, we will all die naman, why be afraid and lurk in the shadows?
Some GMs will not reveal themselves, it's their choice. Not because they are afraid or anything but they prefer to remain hidden for personal reasons. Just like me, everything was "personal".
Finally, there's no point in keeping my identity secret if people do know I'm a GM. It's just a matter of fact of linking GM-Yukino to me and vice versa. That's what I did in my blog, I just linked the two person. As I've said in my GM-Blog, when I'm a GM, I'm being myself and not some "fake character/attitude". Now that will mean girl ako IRL with all those proofs na girl talaga ako, well no, ask those who knows I'm just being me and GM-Yukino is my first Internet Identity that truely reflects me.
GM-Yukino will always be mine and through a blog, I can keep him/her (Yukino's story is "unknown gender"). Besides, the other GMs and developers out there has their own blogs, why not me? I want to have more friends and I want those players (I'm a player as well) to follow-up on someone. So here I am, read my blog
Thanks for asking.
YUKISM! PA RIN hehehe
All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2004-2006 by JC John SESE Cuneta.
All materials, logos, trademarks, images, layout, and design are Copyrighted to JC John SESE Cuneta.
All other materials are registered to their respective owners.